A Blonde's Perspective - Cheers to the golden age

By Jan Stadtherr

Dear fellow golden-agers! If you’re over 65, you may have entered a new chapter of your life as I did in April. 

Are you squinting as you read this and the letters look like hieroglyphics? Can’t see the road signs as you drive, especially at night? Those are some of the first signs you may need to have your cataracts removed.

Ah, yes! Many of my friends have had the procedure done and they say, “There’s nothing to it! Everything will be brighter!” The surgery is simple and short as you stare into a bright light and the eye doctor makes a small incision in your eye, removes the cloudy cataract, inserts a new lens and makes two small stitches to hold it in place. The surgery takes about 10 minutes with no pain.

But it’s what happens when you return home that has driven me berserk! First, NO make-up. What? I wear eye makeup nearly every day. No one will recognize me, and if they do, they look at my face and think to themselves, “What’s wrong with Jan?” We’re not allowed to use lotion on the face either. My skin began to look like the Mohave Desert! But the medical world says by avoiding the daily makeup routine, you lessen the chance of having an eye infection.

During the first week, I had to wear a clear plastic shield over my eye that is taped on when I went to sleep. If the grandkids saw me they would refer to me as a pirate. Arrgh!

Cataracts aren’t just a cloudy lens in your eye clumping up like forgotten Jell-O in the fridge. They’re life’s way of saying, “Surprise! You’re auditioning for Mr. Magoo.”

And then there are the eye drops! The nurse said it is simple to do – shake the bottle, look up and pull your bottom eye lid down, squeeze a drop into the eye without touching the eye ball.

Hah! Simple? I wasted more of the antibiotic drops as they rolled down my cheek. After each drop finally hits the target, I need a towel and emotional support. It may sound simple, but I also wear bifocals, have arthritis and can’t remember where I left the bottle or the cap of the bottle that blends in with the vanity top.

Every patient receives a chart to mark the times you use the drops – four times a day the first week, three drops during the second week, two drops every day of the third week, and one drop each day the fourth week, the week I was waiting for.

However, when you think you’re just about done with the no makeup, drops, and eye patch routine, it’s time to have the other cataract removed from the other eye, and the entire process starts again. While some people can see clearly right away and no longer need glasses, I have astigmatism and will need glasses once both eyes have healed.

It’s the middle of May as I write this column, and the print is at 200 percent on my screen in order to see what I’m writing. I’ve even used a magnifying glass at times to read very small print. I purchased two pairs of cheap reading glasses but neither were the correct strength.

But I guess this is all worth it with improved vision, safer driving, clearer reading and a little loss of vanity. Once I have my new glasses, I can look in the mirror and see more wrinkles that I never saw before.

Yes, getting older comes with surprises. Many are good surprises such as senior discounts and the grandchildren, plus getting a clearer perspective of myself. Cheers to the golden age!