Support, love provided when a neighbor boy (now man) needed it most
By Carol Stender
It may seem like an unlikely friendship.
Connie Benson is 83 and Andrew Walker-Hannemann is 19. She is White. He is Black. Connie grew up in the small farming community of Sunburg, Minn., before moving to Wheaton, while Andrew started life in St. Paul and moved to Wheaton as a fifth grader. Neither saw it coming, but the two have formed a special and strong friendship, and admit that, while there are times they may drive each other crazy, they will always have one another’s back.
Connie and Andrew met at the 6th and 7th grade Good Shepherd Lutheran confirmation class. Connie and her friend, Evie Rinke, taught the class and served a meal each week.
Dylan Bainbridge, a classmate, brought a reluctant Andrew to the confirmation class. Dylan recalls meeting Andrew on Valentine’s Day of their 5th grade year. The two became good friends, and Andrew became a frequent visitor to the Bainbridge home.
Andrew lived in an apartment complex down the street from Connie’s home. He had a troubled home life. While Andrew might have been reluctant to come to the confirmation studies, he enjoyed the meals and the conversations he had with Connie.
“There was just something that drew me to him,” she said.
And Andrew felt the care and friendship Connie offered.
“Everyone knows Connie Benson in Wheaton,” said Andrew. “And you just don’t know Connie. She is always nice to everyone. She was really inclusive and she likes taking care of people. She knew my situation from living in the apartments and not having the best life. She would always invite me over.”
Andrew quit attending the class for awhile, but eventually he returned. When Connie asked why he came back, Andrew told her, “I don’t know. Something just drove me to come.”
One day, early in the afternoon, he knocked on Connie’s door. He asked if he could have some pancakes.
“Let him come in,” Connie’s husband David said.
He ate all the pancakes Connie made plus four sausages, she remembered. The Bensons invited Andrew to come eat lunch with them everyday. He was also getting support from the Shawn and Heather Bainbridge family.
“Our role was to make sure he was okay,” Shawn said. “Connie offered the care and support and my wife, Heather, was like another mom.”
Others in the community came alongside Andrew. They cheered his accomplishments and offered clothing and other needs. He was active in sports and played basketball and football. Andrew enjoyed time with his classmates and his friends of all ages.
“There is just something special about Andrew,” said Shawn. “He is as comfortable talking to older people as he is talking to teens.”
He was confirmed his freshman year, but he admitted to Connie that he had concerns. During the confirmation service, there is a “laying of hands” on each student as they are confirmed. Usually, family members take part.
“Who will put their hands on my shoulders and head because my family won’t come,” he told her.
When it came time for Andrew to be confirmed, Connie, the other confirmands and their families all came to put their hands on Andrew.
Another time, when Connie planned a trip to the Twin Cities to celebrate her 80th birthday with her children, she made sure Andrew would have food. She told him how he could come into her house and make food. When she returned, Andrew said he had to admit something to her. He said he didn’t have any place to sleep so he stayed at her house when she was gone. She told him it was fine and he has been living with Connie for the last three years.
Her family has also been supportive of Andrew and have encouraged their friendship.
When David became ill, Andrew stayed with him. He helped with his care and was with the Bensons when David was hospitalized.
“Once David was sick, Andrew never left his side,” Connie said. “It meant the world to me and my family. It came from love and wanting to help out.”
David died in 2022, but after witnessing the care he got from hospital staff, Andrew made a career choice. He is enrolled in North Dakota State School of Science’s RN program. His interest in caring and nursing started in high school when he completed CNA training and began working at the Traverse Care Center.
“I saw the care David got from the nursing staff,” Andrew said. “That’s not easy for anyone, but the care he got moved me.”
As Andrew has received the support of the community, he has also given back to it.
“This whole community has reached out to Andrew,” Connie said. “They see the good.”
Andrew has participated in refereeing elementary sporting events and being an assistant coach on youth basketball camps. He is also active in the church by helping teach Sunday school and help with the youth program.
“I really believe that God has had a plan for all of this,” Connie said of Andrew’s story. “And I am not telling this story to glorify myself or Andrew, but hopefully someone can say, ‘I can do that.’ It’s not that someone has to have someone come into their home. But they can walk alongside someone and offer care and support.”
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