My Perspective - Think of others, yourself on ‘Blue Monday’

By Jim Palmer

I am writing this on Jan. 24 --  also referred to as “Blue Monday.” The third Monday in January was given this designation by a psychologist years ago because of multiple negative factors that stack up this time of year -- specifically post-holiday letdown, gloomy weather, financial stress from Christmas bills, and (for most) a time when they realize that New Year’s resolutions aren’t sticking.

While some experts consider this formula less than scientific, mental health advocacy groups have used Blue Monday as a good way to shine a light on mental health and facilitate talk on anxiety and depression.

Mental health has been on the top of my mind lately. Three people in my extended family/friend circle have been greatly impacted by mental health in the last couple of months -- one was hospitalized, one entered treatment, and one is seeking new treatment options as past treatments are not working. All three of these people are struggling more than they have at any point in their life. Every day is a challenge. And because they are struggling, the loved ones in their lives are also impacted. 

Besides these three, I can think of about a dozen people that I know who have struggled at times with mental illness. And since mental health is not usually something that people bring up casually, I’m sure I would be very surprised how many people I know who are dealing with mental health on some level. I also come from a family in which my grandmother and one uncle both dealt with mental illness most of their lives. Both died years ago still navigating through fairly severe mental illness.  

How prevalent is mental illness? According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) more than one in five Americans experience some form of mental illness each year, and one in 20 Americans experience serious mental illness each year. 

Also, be aware of the younger people in your life. According to NAMI, about half of all lifetime mental illness starts by the age of 14, and 75% begins by age 24. And suicide is the second leading cause of death among people age 10-24 (behind accidents/unintentional injuries).

What should you do if you have a friend or family member who has mental health issues? I’m not anywhere near a professional on this matter, but there are several great resources online for you to look through if you want to be more educated on it. Here are some key “Do’s and Don’ts” that appear on many of the professional sites online.

Do

Do listen without judgment.

Do ask questions, and keep them open-ended.

Do express your concern and support.

Do be present and listen.

Do offer support with daily tasks.

Do encourage them to get help.

Do provide assistance where you can.

Do talk about self care.

Do treat them with respect, compassion, and empathy.

Don’t

Don’t say you know how they feel.

Don’t give the person a pep talk.

Don’t pressure them to “snap out of it.”

Don’t minimize what they’re going through.

Don’t try to diagnose or second guess their feelings.

Don’t think your distractions will solve their problem.

Don’t give up on them.

By the time you read this, Blue Monday will be in the rearview mirror, but I encourage you to take a moment and think about the family and friends in your life who may be struggling with mental health. Think about what you can do to make their life a little easier. And if they are not currently receiving help, encourage them to seek it. 

And if you are one of the five Americans who is struggling with mental health, I encourage you to reach out to the most trusted people in your life, and to seek help and guidance from a professional. There are professionals out there who can help in a variety of ways. Give them an opportunity to help you.