The rearview mirror

By Joyce Kuhlemeyer Wagner of Fargo

Looking back. No, I’m not contemplating those bumped-into trash cans at the end of the driveway. I’m thinking precisely about the “rearview mirror of life.” In reality, there are times when a rearview mirror can instead offer us a better perspective for going forward.

Growing up in a rural community, where hand-me-down clothes were more the “norm” than not, we didn’t often see the economic differences that existed between families. However, one exception stood out in my childhood mind: a grade school classmate’s packed lunch had real bologna sandwiches made with store-bought bread. And fudge-stripped cookies. I had homemade bread, spread with peanut butter or homemade jam, accompanied with one of mom’s baked goods. But, I envied her. In hindsight, I was the one that was fortunate.

I remember longing at Christmas, not for presents, but for wanting more than the humble decorations that clothed our tree. It was a real needle-shedding tree, topped with a crimped-edged star that was hand-cut from a piece of heavy tin. The decorations were school-made crafts by elementary hands, guilded walnut shells hung by thread, and strings of popcorn and cranberries. It was illuminated with one string of colored bulbs and scattered reflective tinsel. In contrast, today’s tree is trimmed with carefully coordinated bulbs and purchased ornaments. It’s pretty, but not personal. My childhood Christmas tree held a treasure I didn’t see at the time.

Working long hours as a farm family created a strong emotional and teamwork bond among us. We shared everyday experiences, sometimes with times of laughter, other times empathizing with each other’s hurts and challenges. Meals were always a together time; no one ran off on their individual agendas. Learning what it was to work hard prepared us for future sought-after qualities when employed elsewhere. Witnessing my parents’ financial stress also cemented my determination to always live debt-free, a goal accomplished even in acquiring my college education. Looking back, I realize that rewards from all these efforts weren’t immediately apparent, but the long-view mattered.

The death of my fiance during college and the difficulty of securing employment in my field of study did not seem like blessings at the time. Moving out of state and later to a large metropolitan area challenged me to develop independence and pushed my non-adventurous spirit. Living in different locations throughout the years also introduced me to wonderful people, initiating lifetime relationships. Experiencing various types of employment unknowingly built my skills for future professions and in raising my own family. Building character and strengthening my faith - these were all pieces of God’s puzzle for my life.

It’s been said that our hindsight is always 2020 vision. Although looking back is not the direction we’re headed, pondering the “rearview mirror of life” does provide perspective, generating a thankfulness in cherishing the blessings of “now.” For you see, today is tomorrow’s yesterday - and each day is a gift.