Faith, farmingforgiveness... and 75 years

BY CAROL STENDER

cdstender3@yahoo.com 

Martin and Helen Mursu of New York Mills have been married for 75 years. They offered on of their grandsons and his wife two pieces of advice when they got married: Forgive one another and have Christ as the unseen visitor in the home.  Contributed photo

When their great-grandson and his bride recently wed, Martin and Helen Mursu of New York Mills offered this advice they’ve acted on throughout their 75 years of marriage: Forgive one another and have Christ as the unseen guest in the home.

“We aren’t always going to agree,” said 95-year-old Martin. “But instead of getting mad at each other, get over it.”

Helen, 93, concurred.

“It’s a lot of forgiveness because we don’t think alike,” she said.

And as for Christ being an unseen guest in the home, well, he is, Martin said.

“He is there whether we realize it or not,” he said.

Their faith has been a mainstay throughout their lives as has their lifelong membership at New York Mills Apostolic Lutheran Church. It’s where they were baptized and confirmed and where their Diamond Anniversary was celebrated on March 22 this year, just two days before their marriage date of March 25, 1950.

“Both of our fathers were involved on church boards,” Helen said. “Our families would get together for a meal and to visit. There was a lot more visiting in those days.”

They each attended country school through the 8th grade. Martin recalled going to school in the winter on skis and on horseback when the weather was good.

Helen was one of 13 children and Martin came from a family of nine. Helen lost two brothers in a car/train collision. The brothers, aged 14 and 16, were riding with a friend home from a basketball game. The friend, who was the driver, didn’t see the oncoming train. He survived.

The loss was devastating, but Helen’s parents were forgiving, and when the young man’s family moved before his senior year, he lived with Helen’s parents and helped with the farm.

Helen completed high school and, after graduation, lived in Wadena where she worked in a bank. Martin completed one year of high school and left after the 9th grade to work on the farm. Many had been drafted to fight in World War II so he was needed to help with the farm.

When he was 17, Martin joined others from the area working as a civilian on shipping vessels in the Great Lakes. The ships mostly carried iron ore and coal from the Duluth harbor through Lake Erie and onto Buffalo, N.Y. When the shipping season ended each year, he returned to the family’s New York Mills farm.

Helen and Martin Mursu were married in Helen’s parent’s living room on March 25, 1950. Church weddings were not common at the time, Helen said. Martin’s father, Walter, was an assistant pastor and conducted the ceremony in Finnish. The couple left briefly to drive to Wadena where photographer Rex McDonald took their wedding photo. When they returned to Helen’s family farm, the yard was filled with cars. The small wedding grew into a much larger reception thanks to Helen’s mother who was excited about the first wedding in the family.  Contributed photo

After three years working on the Great Lakes shipping, Martin proposed to Helen.

“I don’t remember it, but I was probably pretty bashful,” he said.

The two were married in the farmhouse living room of Helen’s parents. There weren’t a lot of church weddings at that time, Helen said.

It was a small wedding, or at least, it was supposed to be small. Helen’s mother, in her excitement over the first wedding in the family, invited some to the ceremony where Martin’s father, Walter, officiated. Walter was an assistant pastor and conducted the entire ceremony in Finnish.

“He could speak English, but he wasn’t a public speaker using English,” Martin said. “He was more comfortable with Finnish.”

After the service, the couple drove to Wadena for their wedding pictures taken by photographer Rex McDonald. When they returned home, the farmyard was full of vehicles as even more came to celebrate the wedding.

They lived in New York Mills for the first three years of marriage. Martin did odd jobs from installing curb and gutter to helping farmers and working with the Wadena Silo Company. Eventually they rented a farm co-owned by Helen’s aunt. Eventually they purchased the farm 0and raised everything from hogs to dairy and chickens. Between the land they had purchased and others they rented, they farmed about 240 acres.

The couple started their dairy operation with nine cows which were all milked by hand. Over time they increased the herd to 44 and installed a pipeline as they modernized the farm.

Everyone helped on the farm, Martin said. Some drove the tractor when baling or rock picking. Some helped with the milking.

Their Finnish heritage has been an important thread in their family. All but one of their six children learned to speak Finnish.

“The youngest didn’t want to learn it,” said Martin. “I would talk to her in Finnish and Helen would interpret.”

But they all enjoyed the Finnish treats like prune tarts at Christmas and Helen’s squeaky cheese. Squeaky cheese is made from the colostrum milk of a newly freshened cow. The squeaky cheese delicacy was probably made once a year, but it was sought after when it was prepared. Last year a great grandchild, working on a school project, joined Helen to make the cheese.

The Mursus have shared lots of laughs in their 75 years of married. Here is one of those moments a few decades back. Contributed photo

They sold the farm in 1999 to their son who increased the herd to 140 cows, they said.

Martin and Helen live on a corner of the farm in a house they’ve called home for 25 years. They have had a few health scares as each has suffered a stroke, but they have recovered with few aftereffects.

They move a bit slower, perhaps. Helen now uses a walker and Martin has a cane, but he drives almost every day to New York Mills for coffee.

The two attend church as often as they can and when they can’t be there physically, they watch the service online, Helen said.

They have raised six children, have 21 grandchildren, and are expecting their 40th and 41st great-grandchildren this year.

“And we have been blessed,” said Helen of the couple’s 75 years together.