Penpals for life

Women celebrate 50-year long-distance friendship

By Carol Stender

Ida Fetterer of Fergus Falls and Marianne Someren of Holland have been penpals for more than 50 years. The two started writing to one another in the 1960s and have continued to connect through airmail letters, e-mails and social media. They have met several times in-person. The most recent visit was last month when Marianne and her daughter, Diana Vrusselaars, made to trip to Ida’s home in Fergus Falls.

They were school girls in the 1960s when Ida Fetterer of Villard (now living in Fergus Falls) and Marianne Van Someren of Holland became penpals. The connection made through airmail letters continued through grade school, high school, and into adulthood. Now, roughly 50-plus years since they started corresponding, the two celebrated their lifelong friendship at Ida’s Fergus Falls home last month.

The next generation, as well. Marianne’s daughter, Diana Brusselaars, accompanied her mother on the trip. She and her siblings have kept in touch with Ida’s children through in-person visits as well as social media, Diana said.

Ida’s son, Dwight, brought the Holland visitors from the Twin Cities to Ida’s home. While it had been 30 years since Diana had last seen him, she knew him immediately, Diana said. They talked non-stop like they had just seen each other yesterday.

“People will ask if this is my family,” Diana said. “I tell them no. It’s my chosen family.”

This meeting was especially meaningful for the penpals. It may be the their last face-to-face gathering.

“We are both 70 and my daughter and I have had health issues,” Marianne said.

It won’t end the communication between the two who now connect through e-mail and social media.

The connection started, for Ida, in the lower grades. Students were told about a penpal program. It would cost a dime to participate, but each student would get the name of school child the same age from another country. It could be France. It might be Italy or even Holland.

Ida learned her mother had once had a penpal from Holland which prompted the young school girl to seek someone from the Netherlands.

Around that same time, Marianne’s teacher told his class about the international penpal program. Of the names Marianne received, one was a boy from Israel. The other was Ida.

She wrote to both, but the boy from Israel never sent a letter back.

“That was my first divorce, because after that first letter, he didn’t write again,” she said.

But Ida did.

The letters were written in English.

Ida and Marianne became penpals and have kept in touch through letters, gmail and social media. They have met in-person several times over the years, including their latest last month. Contributed photo

“I think our penpal program went overseas because children were taught English and they could communicate that way,” Marianne said. “It was a way to learn.”

It was a different story for Ida. A foreign language was only offered in high school and then students had to choose whether to take French or typing.

How different for Ida who recalled foreign language offered as an elective in high school. Students could either take French or typing, she said.

Their penpal letters were written, in the beginning, on blue paper that, when it was folded, became an envelope. It was how airmail letters were sent.

The first letters were full of details about their families and everyday life. Ida said she lived in a wood house. Marianne thought that was grand. And when Marianne replied that she lived in a brick house, Ida, in turn, thought that was quite a nice home.

It took six weeks for a letter to go from one to the other. They imagine that the letters often crossed one another in the trip across the ocean.

Their friendship grew over the years and their conversations reflected the changes in their lives over time. The first letters detailed family and life and changed to discussions over the latest rock bands and Top 40 songs in their teen years. Then, in adulthood, they shared news of their families.

Ida served in the Air Force after high school. It was the early 1970s and she was stationed in Brussels, Belgium. The placement was a miracle, she said. Many don’t get stationed in Belgium as it was a special duty assignment, but, for Ida, it was a perfect way to connect with Marianne in person.

She grabbed a map and discovered Holland was next door.

The two were both 20 when they met in person for the first time. They saw each other often during Ida’s deployment to Belgium. Through the guidance of Marianne and family, Ida was able to see more of the region.

A school paper belonging to Diana Vrusselaars of Holland was helpful as Ida Fetterer of Fergus Falls learned Dutch while visiting her penpal Marianne Someren in the 1970s. Contributed photo

Ida’s mother visited her when she was living in Europe and, together, they traveled to see Marianne and her family in Holland. It was fun, she said, to have Marianne’s mother, Johanna, and Ida’s mother, Iva, meet and visit together. Neither Johanna nor Iva could speak each other’s language, but together they used hand gestures and they understood each other perfectly.

Ida also started to learn Dutch, thanks to Diana, who was school age. The young Diana showed Ida her schoolwork. The assignments focused on basic words and Ida made the connections to the different words and pronunciations. When she would be around Diana, she would point to items, like a chair, and make motions asking what it was.

A young Diana was awed.

“She would point to a swing and ask what it was,” Diana said. “In my mind I was thinking, ‘What? She really doesn’t know what a swing is?’ But she really just wanted the Dutch pronunciation. As a kid, I didn’t realize that right away.”

There are many words that are similar between English and Dutch, Ida said.

They note the differences between the two countries. Holland is more reserved, Diana said. When she visits, Ida stocks up on Fruit Loops. The cereal is different in the U.S.

The two families have shared recipes. When Marianne makes pork roast, she uses nutmeg among the spices. And the Someren family has been awed by the size of the turkey Ida prepares. Appliances like stoves and refrigerators are much smaller than U.S. models, they said.

Marianne Someren (far left) her daughter, Diana Vrusselaars (middle) are both of Holland and visited Ida Fetterer of Fergus Falls last month. Marianne and Ida have been penpals since the 1960s. 

Diana also baked Ida’s Cowboy Cookies recipe during their visit. It’s a recipe she will take with her to prepare for her own family.

Over the years, Marianne also traveled to see Ida. They met each others families. Besides Ida and Marianne making a friendship connection, their children did as well. Ida has three children, Dwight, Tiffany and Cecily, plus two grandchildren.

Marianne is mom to Diana and Jessica and step-mom to Iroy and Joyce Rombouts.

“What’s fun is how the kids have connected to the next generation,” Ida said.