Things I Have Learned - When it's time to park the car

Today's Wisdom: When children reach the age of sixteen,

they discover the meaning of life: car keys. - Erma Bombeck

By Bill D. Ward

One of my cars is an older model that was once driven by an elderly relative. There are seven dings on the car, somewhat evenly dispersed around the perimeter. I know the history of most of those dings, and I know there are matching scrapes on garage door frames, carport posts, and various other items around town. Each of those was self-inflicted by the previous owner and driver.

My fear now is that folks who see me in that car might think I’m the one who can’t drive straight. The truth is, none of them are mine, at least not yet. I assume my day is coming, though.

So far, I have managed to keep all the paint on all my cars. The only exceptions are some transferred onto a deer with very poor judgement some years ago, and some to a very large raccoon, similarly afflicted. My garage door frames are in pristine condition.

I have interesting memories of riding with that relative. Stop signs seemed more of a suggestion. Seat belts were meant for sitting on. Oncoming traffic got the right-of-way, sometimes, sometimes not. He drove while she navigated. Their guardian angels were busy.

He was past the time in life where driving was safe, but he was the last person to acknowledge that.

We all, at some time or another, have someone in the family who should stop driving. My wife and I are thankful that both our mothers recognized they no longer had the skill necessary to drive safely, and both gave up their cars by their own decision.

But, in my work in long-term care, I dealt with many families who struggled with the issue of how to get the car keys from their elderly relatives. Those are hard discussions because I have learned that losing the car is not about the car. It is about one’s freedom. Some of those families had good luck, with reasonable and compliant loved ones. Other’s requests went very poorly.

I hope none of our readers are at that wall where driving is no longer safe. Eventually, though, we all will be there. Make a note-to-self now, when that day comes you will do the right thing. Save a life and save the peace in the family. They aren’t taking the keys to punish you. They are taking them to save you the trauma of hurting someone, maybe yourself. They do it because they love you. I’m just sayin’.